Friday, August 25, 2006

By The Newz Czar

PLANET EARTH – In order to make it easier for children everywhere to learn all the planets, the International Astronomical Union decided to strip Earth of its title of  “Planet”. This follows yesterday’s announcement that Pluto has been stripped of its planetary status.

“It was just so easy with Pluto, we thought ‘What the Hell?’ Sometimes we’re kooky like that,” stated Astronomer Jocelyn Bell Burnell.  “I mean the Earth is where we live, so it has to be something better than a planet. We are thinking of making a new classification called ‘Awesome Planetor’, or something. We’re even thinking of getting rid of that big ball of gas, Jupiter, but we’ll save that for next year.”

The IAU is now suggesting that elementary schools everywhere teach children the (now) seven planets of the Solar System with the phrase  “Most Violins Make Juicy Sounds Until Naptime”.