Tuesday, September 19, 2006

By The Newz Czar

TEHRAN, IRAN – Muslim clerics around the world are trying to reach a consensus regarding references made during a recent Dennis Miller performance. The comedian was recording material for a new show to air later next month. During his bit, Miller talked about the Prophet Mohamed and the Muslim religion, however he did so using his trademark erudite verbiage and non sequitur bon mots.

The following is one of the lines from Miller's act: "The Muslim religion makes Mohamed look like Kubrick filming Fellini filming Welles filming an apiary being razed during the Teapot Dome Scandal."

No where is the debate regarding this material more heated than in the chambers of the Muslim Order of Taking Offense (MOTO). The organization, based in Tehran, Iran, is the group that officially declares Jihad on people, places, and things they deem offensive. The best known of these Jihads is the one placed on Salman Rushdie, while the most recent is the one placed on Pope Benedict XVI.

Approximately one third of the members of MOTO believe that Jihad should be declared on Miller immediately, another third believes that they should first try to figure out what Miller said before they declare Jihad, and the final third believe they should just declare Jihad on every American named Dennis.