Saturday, September 16, 2006

By Syndicate Deuce

ORLANDO, FLORIDA – Ficticious news writers in the Central Florida area have been suffering from a severe case of writer's block. While no cause has yet been discovered, there exists no end to speculation in the writing community.

"Just the other day I was writing a beautiful piece on the IGU vote, and now I cannot think of a gosh darned thing," stated an exasperated writer. "It could have something to do with those three bags of spinach I ate last week."

Another frustrated writer complained, "I didn't eat no spinach, but I did slug down an entire fifth of scotch. Could that have something to do with it?"

Shocking as it seems, these highly-paid, over-educated, under-employed, useless, contribute-nothing-to-society bums actually for once in their lives have nothing to say.

"I'm sure the cause will be found and a cure created in time for the next ficticious news-worthy event," explains Dr. Jeffery Heedendorf of the Ficticious Writers Medical Society. "We shouldn't be expected to wait days for news, for crying out loud."