Sunday, September 10, 2006

By The Newz Czar

ORLANDO, FLORIDA – A new natural disaster has introduced itself to a land already home to hurricanes, wildfires, and seasonal alligator/shark attacks. At 10:56 a.m. Sunday morning, a 6.0 earthquake shook the Gulf of Mexico, sending out its most "deadly" shockwaves to Central Florida. Hundreds of people reported feeling a slight motion beneath their feet before immediately panicking and claiming that God was about to smite them.

Geologists and government officials have dismissed the occurrance as insignificant, however these counted hundreds are not to be so easily consoled. A local woman, who wishes to only be known as "Angela" had this to say, "I knew these was the End Times, I knew it as soon as my cat told me". Angela claims that her cat has also warned her not to stare at the moon too long, as that leads to rickets.

Although the earthquake has been dismissed by everone except for those with "alternate sanity", it does go to prove that Central Florida is prone to nearly every natural disaster.