Tuesday, August 29, 2006

By The Newz Czar

ENTIRE UNIVERSE – After 13.7 billion years of events, the Universe has decided to take a short vacation. It formally decided on Monday that it would take Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday off. “I really expected to take a couple of days right after the Big Bang, but that seems to be right about the time everything started picking up,” stated an exhausted Universe.

It is unknown how these three days will affect the world at large, but it is believed that all the major television networks in the world will take a giant dip in ratings. “I understand that taking a little vacation may cost some people some money,” acknowledged the Universe, “but I really need a mental health break”.

The Universe has stated that it is planning to spend its time catching up on some reading, lounging by the pool, and maybe trying a game or two of golf. Business will resume as usual just in time for the rest of us to get Saturday and Sunday off.